Parents NEVER Lie… Much

Warm weather has set in in Virginia, and summer vacation is almost upon us. Keeping with annual tradition, tonight we blew up the inflatable kiddie pool in the back yard and prepared to fill it will chilly (FREEZING) tap water. For the second year in a row, we pulled swim diapers on the twins and tugged suits onto the squirming bodies of our three children.

Realizing I had left my camera inside again, I settled in to watch them giggle and squirm as they laughed and jumped both away and toward the water hose. Laughingly, I learned that the twins liked the water but didn’t want their suits to get wet. Why would anyone want to get water on a perfectly dry bathing suit?

Stranger still was the educational conversation I had with Maddie. It went something like this:

ME: When we go to the big pool, should you go swimming by yourself?


ME: No… (Insert explanation of why she needed an adult and who counted as an adult.)

MADDIE: (jump jump jump splash jump jump) Squeal

ME: Remember, we can’t run when we’re at the big pool either. You might fall and break your head.

MADDIE: Like a zombie!

ME: (pause… consider my answer… decide to take the moral high ground and tell her the truth) Yes! Exactly like a zombie!

That’s just how we roll.


Have Phone… Will Talk

The twins like to talk, correction, LOVE to talk… when they want to.  This is often not when I want them to or about what I would like to discuss.  In fact, we have reached the growl, whine, and stomp phase.  They favorite words are “MOOO!” (move), “eenaa” (banana), “abba” (apple), and “peet-zaa” (you can figure that one out).  The also like the phrase “Mine, aaaa mine!”  What they also can say, but often don’t, are things like “please,” “more,” and “I love you.”  (They like to wrestle, smack, and occasionally try to use their teeth as weapons of minor destruction.)

I find it strange, however, that when you put a phone in their hands, they can talk for ever, often in a language I don’t speak, but heaven help you if you try to take the phone from them.

Ahh… they are truly girls… and just think, I have three of them!


Please send chocolate.


(Abby at top and Makayla at bottom)

“Hello… Yeah, It’s been a While. Not much, How ‘Bout You” (AKA- I Need Your Help)

As a child in the ‘80s, I remember the above lyrics as background music to life in the town house I lived in for four years.  Mom liked the light stuff; Dad would have had something a little more Rock-n-Roll on the dinosaur sized stereo/record player.  I don’t remember who sang it, and I could look it up in a blink thanks to modern technology, but sometimes I like things to remain nostalgic.  (Bonus points, however, to anyone else who remembers hearing it on the radio.)  Needless to say, when I thought of a posting directed at an audience of those I may or may not have met, these lyrics sprang to mind and became the title for my inquiry.

As today would have it, extenuating circumstances have kept me away from work… think of it as teacher hookie.  I have an amazing idea in mind for my next post, but no time to write it as today (since I’m here anyhow) MUST be dedicated to grading.  (See above real life picture of what plagues me.)  After all, the seniors do need to know if they will graduate in two weeks or not.

In true teacher style, I have set a timer for myself… I must work for X-amount of time before I can get back to writing.  So here’s your assignment:

While I write this blog for myself (therapy) and my children (They may read it in the future… who knows?), I do really enjoy interacting with an audience.  Most of you are family and friends, and I do hope that you are enjoying a glimpse into my erratic brain!  Some of you, I am pleased to say, are people I have never met.  The fact that you are willing to read this must mean that I’m doing something well.  Hello to all!

Now the homework  I have so many ideas, and I need to know where to start.  (A blog I read yesterday aslo encouraged asking readers what they would like to see.)  Tell me what I should write about next.  Between my kids, my job, and strange memories from the past, hopefully there is something you would like to see me pontificate about.  If you don’t have a request, please do me the favor of “liking” anything you enjoy and providing tons of feedback.  Follow me if you would like.  I, like my students, thrive on positive reinforcement!  I also, someday, would like to turn blogging in to something bigger, so your constructive criticism is appreciated as well.  Feel free to leave all comments in the comment box.  Help me to be a better writer, and in return, I will try to give you all the worthless knowledge and humor I have to offer.

Thanks for the help… I will see you again soon.  You may now return to your regularly scheduled lives.

Twin Humor: When a Dragon Slayer is Needed

The babies were at it again tonight, but that’s to be expected when they’ve been battling it out since their days en utero. This time the fight was over the pink pacifier… it would seem that the green one was not as desirable as the watermelon hue that Makayla was chomping on, so Abby jumped her. There was great wailing and gnashing of teeth as I pulled them apart. Man, twenty-two month old identicals are strong! That was a sign that an early bed time was imminent, and off they went.

Some days are like this.

Others are more humorous. Several days ago there was the incident with the vacuum. As an overly tired and less than motivated mom, I had managed to get the floors clean, but the vacuum had yet to be stowed in a less noticeable corner of my overly cramped abode. As it sat, docile and unthreatening, beside the twins’ plastic play kitchen, I went about with my cleaning routine—there are way too many clothes for me to ever get them folded, but I’m still trying.

In my peripheral, I saw one of the girls (they look too alike for me to remember which one) sidle cautiously to the purple beast’s side. I swear she looked at her sister and grinned. Before I could stop what I knew was about to happen, she hit the power switch and ran like the devil was behind her. Across the living room, into the kitchen, and under the table she dove as her sister collapsed to the ground, still beside the growling machine of doom. The piteous cries would have been heartbreaking had I, in the middle of a bad mommy moment, not been laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. Disinterested in the plight of her sister, Madison looked away from the previously riveting episode of Doc McStuffins to ask me if I could turn off the vacuum.

Remembering that I was the mom and thus was expected to save the day, I regained my composure and went to apprehend and slay the villain. Like a knight in shining armor, I swept the now soggy babe into my arms, hugged her tightly, and rescued her from peril.

There is never a dull moment, but at least I get a good laugh from time to time.

(PS- I’m still waiting for my cape to come in the mail.)